


April Fools!

by Synthetic_Miracle



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (The apocalypse is supposed to happen on April Fools which gave me IDEAS mwahaha), (no incest), April Fools- then and now, First chapter is really fluffy, Gen, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Second is darker and more introspective, Sibling Love, The Hargreeves siblings really do love each other, kids getting to be kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synthetic_Miracle/pseuds/Synthetic_Miracle
Summary: April 1st, 1996, was a day filled with fun and laughter.April 1st, 2019, is a very different story.





	1. April 1st, 1996

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, stormy stormy world,  
> The days you were not swirled  
> Around with mist and cloud,  
> Or wrapped as in a shroud,  
> And the sun’s brilliant ball  
> Was not in part or all  
> Obscured from mortal view—  
> Were days so very few  
> I can but wonder whence  
> I get the lasting sense  
> Of so much warmth and light.  
> -Robert Frost, "Happiness Makes Up in Height for What It Lacks in Length." [Excerpt]

Number Four was the first of the Hargreeves siblings to hear about a silly little holiday known as “April Fools Day.” Although he was only six at the time, Four knew that if he wanted to share this Important Information with his siblings, he’d have to keep it a secret from their Dad, who surely wouldn’t appreciate them practicing such a trivial, useless holiday.

 

Four waited and waited for the Perfect Time until his heart was bursting with excitement. He finally felt ready to tell his siblings (what fun would pranking them be if they didn’t understand why?) after breakfast, when they were heading up to their rooms and were out of Dad’s hearing.

 

“Pssst, I learned a _really cool thing_ today! Today’s a holiday meant for playing jokes,” Four eagerly whispered to his siblings, making sure to emphasize that it was super duper cool, but garnered mixed reactions.

 

“It can’t be _that_ cool if Dad didn’t tell us about it,” One replied annoyingly, and Three nodded along. Two looked a bit unsure, but Four didn’t think he’d really speak out either way. Two never really did talk to them much at all though, as he was always a bit embarrassed over his stutter, as Grace “Call me Mom” had called it.  Four looked around for some support and saw that at least Six and Seven thought it seemed cool, while Five was thinking it over.

 

“So, the point is to make people giggle?” Five asked, and Four bobbed his head enthusiastically.

 

Four responded, “Yes! I think it’d be really fun, but I didn’t wanna play a joke on you guys until you knew about April Fools, ‘cause where’s the fun in that?”

 

“I think it sounds _awesome_ ,” Six chimed in, and Four smiled brightly at him. He could always count on Six.

 

“Thanks, Six! Anyway, you know about it now, so it’s all good and I can play jokes on you!” Four said, ready to unleash the prank he’d been planning. One rolled his eyes, but Four saw that Seven was actually smiling a bit, which he took as a win.

 

Whoever ended up participating didn’t matter to Four now anyway, as he had already picked his target for this year and they would _totally_ be getting it today.

 

**~~~~~~**

 

Number Two was innocently sitting at the table across from Number Four, waiting for Mom to give them both their healthy snack for the morning. As always, Two had to quickly go to the bathroom before Mom finished preparing it.

 

“I-I’ve got-got-gotta go,” Two stammered out, and Mom gave him her warm, proud smile that always made him feel really happy.

 

“Okay sweetie, just make sure to hurry up! Snacks will be ready soon,” Grace replied, used to Two’s bathroom breaks occurring right before she served his morning snack.

 

Four kept his devious smile inside, happy that things were going according to plan.

 

Grace laid down the boys’ snacks in front of their seats before returning to the kitchen. Four looked around suspiciously but saw nobody watching, so he quickly moved to sprinkle the salt over part of Two’s snack. Oh, Four couldn’t wait to see his _face_ once he bit into his ants-on-a-log!

 

Two returned, unsuspecting, and dug in. Four ate too, eating his ants-on-- log first and then his crackers, while Two did the opposite. Once Two finally, finally bit into the salted food, the celery crunching loudly, he chewed innocently for a second before the taste really registered and his face scrunched up. Two spit it out discreetly, not wanting Mom to notice and get sad. He looked up to see Four laughing, and that’s when Two remembered about how excited he was about that stupid holiday thing.

 

“April Fools!” Four whisper-shouted across the table. Two stuck his tongue out, not trusting his stupid voice to work right. He didn’t need to say anything then anyway, Two knew he would get Four back later.

 

When the siblings were in the living room post-training, after Dad had left the room, Two started pelting Four with little pebbles he’d picked up when they were working outside. At first, Four just seemed confused, rubbing the back of his neck where he could swear he felt something hit it. Four looked around, expecting to have to swat at a fly or something, but found nothing. The cycle continued for a minute before Four turned around in time to see Two trying to push down a smile.

 

“You!” Four exclaimed, a bit too loudly, drawing the other siblings’ attention.

 

“A-A-April Foo-Fools!” Two replied, at a more normal volume. Four’s grin could light up an entire room, and so could the one Two returned. Four couldn’t just let it slide, though, so he decided to throw a pillow at his brother. Lacking his brother’s throwing and aiming skills, however, Four ended up hitting Six, who was standing a bit to the side.

 

Six’s look of betrayal made Four feel a bit guilty, but then he picked up the pillow, gave it a gentle, mischievous smile, and chucked it at him, actually hitting his target, unlike Four. This soon escalated into a pillow fight between the three boys, which inevitably ended up hitting the others. Seven happily joined in when she was hit, a look of determination on her face. Three was less happy about getting hit, but she threw a pillow in retaliation anyway, much to One’s dismay. When One got hit, he scoffed a bit and only half-heartedly tossed a pillow back, not bothering to join in the little war, as he didn’t want to get in trouble with Dad.

 

Five was the last one to be pulled in, as he was, for obvious reasons, the best at dodging. Still, eventually, he got a bit tired and was soon hit. The room was silent and still for a moment, waiting for his reaction, but they didn’t need to worry. Five gave a little smirk before he teleported over to Seven, who had hit him in the first place, and smacked her with the pillow over her head. Seven shrieked in response, scrambling for a pillow to retaliate with. The war cry of “April Fools!” echoed after each hit, typically followed by hysterical giggling.

 

Everything went well until Dad came downstairs to check in on the commotion they had been causing. As soon as the siblings saw him, the gleeful laughs stopped, and they all turned their eyes down, knowing they were in big trouble.

 

Reginald Hargreeves harshly told his children off, “Number One, you’re the only one who will be receiving lunch and dinner tonight. The rest of you, up to your rooms at once!” As the six misbehaving kids walked past, he had them hold up their hands and whacked them with a cane.

 

Through the tears that were bubbling up a bit in all of their eyes, the Hargreeves siblings (sans One) managed weak smiles at each other. Maybe it had ended badly, but none of them regretted their actions in the slightest, despite their stinging hands. It had been a really good day.


	2. April 1st, 2019.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some say the world will end in fire,  
> Some say in ice.  
> From what I’ve tasted of desire  
> I hold with those who favor fire.  
> But if it had to perish twice,  
> I think I know enough of hate  
> To say that for destruction ice  
> Is also great  
> And would suffice.  
> -Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice."

Five used to love April Fools Day. Maybe it was because he got to lightheartedly mess with his siblings, maybe it was because Dad had hated it so much, but he’d always looked forward to it. To seeing Vanya laugh, included in the fun for once, to pranking Diego and Klaus, to teaming up with Ben, and to discreetly trying to help in Allison’s efforts to draw Luther into the secretive festivities (and, surprisingly, they were often fairly successful).

Perhaps that was why he felt personally betrayed when he ended up in the apocalypse, and that one fateful newspaper had read the date, “April 1st.” Five had hoped it was all somehow an elaborate joke at first. A horrible, twisted joke. The world ended on April Fools, a day that had always been for him and his siblings to act their age and have fun? No, Five tried to reason that this was all somehow Not Real. But, as time passed, as he buried his siblings, Five’s grim reality settled around him, and denial was futile.

What would be the point in praying that the apocalypse was just a trick or a dream after he’d lived there for a while, after he’d put his siblings’ corpses into the ground? Why bother wishing for April Fools to have remained innocent? Five had needed to focus his energy on surviving, on getting back and preventing the shitstorm, not on hoping for the impossible.

Five’s hate for April Fools grew irrationally the longer he stayed in the apocalypse. It was only fueled by his frustration at having one of the few untarnished things from his childhood stained with blood and dust. The day he ended up in this horrible purgatory of existence was also the day of the year he’d used to cherish so much, the day he’d always shared with his siblings, who were now long dead. What was the point in trying to even feel neutral towards it if the reasons why he’d loved the holiday in the first place had all died? All died on the one day of the year that was supposed to be okay?

Maybe that despise for the holiday was the reason why, when he finally made it back to his family just over a week before the apocalypse, he couldn’t make himself say the date; it wasn’t  “April First” or even “April Fools Day,” just “there are eight days until the world ends.”

Five would never tell them, but there was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders when he saw his siblings again. A horrible cocktail of grief and survivor’s guilt that had been slowly crushing him just… lightened. It wasn’t a cure-all, not when he still often saw corpses as he looked at his family’s faces, not with the flashbacks or the nightmares, but he still felt immensely better. He had no time to waste though, not now when the apocalypse was days away and they were all so close to dying again.

Five really did love his siblings, but he didn’t expect them to be so useless in his mission to stop the apocalypse. Well, maybe useless wasn’t the right word, but when he’d first arrived in the wasteland the world had become, he’d always imagined them working together to save it all like their dearest Dad had told him they would. Instead, he could barely even convince them that he was telling the truth, that he needed to stop the world’s end. (Sometimes, Five felt like he was the joke.)

He didn’t waste his second chance. Five tried to stop the apocalypse, tried with all the strength and intelligence he possessed, but in the end, he just wasn’t prepared for his sister to be the catalyst for it. Not Vanya, who cried when ants were killed, who shrieked and laughed when they got into that pillow fight all those years ago, whose eyes would always light up on April Fools when she’d be included, who he’d listen to practice violin with her unfaltering determination to succeed.

Five looked around at his siblings, at the piece of the moon hurtling towards them that would soon wipe out all life on Earth. He couldn’t let them all die, not when he’d just gotten back to them, not when he knew all too well the fate that was awaiting the world.

Vanya deserves a chance to be loved, Ben deserves a chance to live, Klaus deserves a chance at innocence, Diego deserves a chance at respect, Allison deserves a chance to try, and Luther deserves a chance to break free. Five would do anything to give them all those things, to give the rest of humanity a chance as well.

There was only one option for him to fix this disaster if he could actually pull it off. So far, his second attempt at April 1st, 2019 wasn’t going particularly wonderfully (because of course it wouldn’t, this was the day for him to make a fool of himself after all), but if he could take his siblings back farther, repair the damage that Reginald Hargreeves had inflicted, the harm they’d all caused each other… well, just maybe his third time wouldn’t end in fire and ashes.

Five never did get much experience with time travel, much less with passengers to take with him, but it was his family’s, humanity’s, only option.  As he summoned that crackling blue energy and he felt the strain of what he was trying to do, Five found his mind oddly wandering back to how this whole apocalypse thing feels like one sick joke. The world ends on April Fools, the day that was supposed to always be fun and happy, because of course it does. Reginald Hargreeves adopts seven children to save the world, and instead, they end it, because of course.

The irony is bitter, but Five reminds himself that, in the end, this will all be for something. His siblings will all get to try again, Reginald will get to fuck off, and the world won’t end in flames. And maybe, this time, Five will get that second chance too. This time around, at the end of April 1st, 2019, maybe the Hargreeves family will get to be happy again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I realized that eight days from March 24th would be April First, and was inSpIRed to write a thingity thing.
> 
> Chapter One Notes: This chapter was honestly so fun and sweet to write! In case you're not familiar with the ants-on-a-log snack, it's basically celery (the log), topped with peanut butter, and on the peanut butter, you stick raisins (the ants). Salt would definitely not taste particularly good in combination with that, so R.I.P. Diego's mouth.
> 
> Chapter Two Notes: This chapter did NOT come as easily as the first one, and honestly could probably have used more editing, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Apparently, I can't resist some Five angst.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I always really appreciate kudos, and comments give me life XD.


End file.
